We are currently looking to recruit an experienced toddler to join our team.
Person Specification
The ideal candidate will be a professional whinger, ideally with previous experience of planning and executing public tantrums. Fluent in the art of saying No, you are likely to have a proven track record of Food Refusal and Unhealthy Snack Manipulation. You will need to possess the strongest of wills and a fiery temper. Nap-takers need not apply.
Primary Duties
- Delaying all excursions from the house by at least 30 minutes.
- Following assigned caregiver to the toilet. And watching.
- Demanding Peppa Pig on repeat.
- Regularly collapsing in a fit of unexplained rage.
- Asking for something and then changing your mind (then changing it back again).
- Managing the sleep cycle for the whole family (5am Parent Bed Invasions may be required).
Hours: Full time (distinction between night and day not always made).
Contract: Permanent. They can't fire you.
The Unmumsy Mum
I think you could have actually written a book on this! Such a great post x
ReplyDeleteHaha thanks Donna! If I had the time I would love to write a book...thanks for reading :-)
Deleteha ;) I did a 'toddler CV' post not that long ago which was along similar lines teehee x clearly ours could work together! xx
ReplyDeleteOh god. They are taking over...be strong. We can win this war on toddler terrorism. And I will check out that post Xx
DeleteI'm an Aunty not a Mum (prefer kittens & puppies) but found your blog via a RT & love it !!
ReplyDeleteAll the people who give me 'that look' when I say I don't want kids shoukd read your blog to save me giving reasons !!!
Haha glad you enjoyed it - I'd stick to the kittens ;-)
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