Because amazing stuff happens all the time, doesn't it? All around us, every day. Crap stuff happens all around us too. So sentimentality at first teeth and unaided rolling over and such like has never really been my thing.
But this week the looming First Year milestone has been dancing around the periphery of my brain (alongside the mental reminder to book a smear test and buy some Olive Oil, the latter of which I've forgotten the last three times I've been to Tesco.)
My baby is one in a couple of weeks and all of a sudden it just feels so milestoney. Much to my surprise I've gone all knobheadish and smushy about it. I feel like I want to sniff his hair and drink in his babyness before he starts lobbing lightsabers at my head and asking me to pull his finger.
There are two explanations for this. I'm either broody, and should start making extra babies right away (having never felt broody before I think this is unlikely, no need to rush home husband). Or, and I'm fairly confident this is the reality, it has dawned on me that I've nearly completed the baby bit. For good. Like a level in a video game.
Level Baby: Complete.
Okay I know he's still a baby. But at 11 and a half months old he's walking and babbling and has 6 teeth and just isn't a baby baby. And once they turn one well that's it, isn't it? People start referring to their age in years, ("He's one, right?") and I'll probably find myself replying, "Well he's 14 months/17 months/22 months, actually." I mean how long can that go on for? "Yes he's 216 months old and living in Halls at University. Yes he's well thanks, still on the 50th percentile in the red book weighing 168 lbs."
The truth is, I've never much rated the baby bit.
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| My little pudding face, nearly a year ago |
This is probably just as well, because before long I will have two such children and no babies.
I won't miss the pasta-encrusted highchair and the reflux and the 5pm-7pm incessant whinging which makes me want to bash my skull in with the Leap Pad. I won't miss the need to cart around backpacks filled with baby paraphernalia.
But a milestone it is nevertheless.
He'll always be my baby, of course. As will his brother, who is three and a half. They will still be my babies when they are in their mid-forties with receded hairlines and mortgages. But they won't need me then.
Not like a baby needs his Mummy.
So I'm going to sniff his hair and sigh a few more times in the run up to his birthday. And then celebrate with a G&T in a tin (forever classy) and try to reassure my startled husband that I'm not angling for another one...
The Unmumsy Mum
[Unsurprisingly I forgot the Olive Oil (again) but I did book my smear test. Don't put it off ladies.]
[Unsurprisingly I forgot the Olive Oil (again) but I did book my smear test. Don't put it off ladies.]
Hi, I'm not really one for writing comments on websites nor getting particularly sentimental about squishy babies but I read your blog religiously. My son will also be 1 in a couple of weeks and your blog has been a life saver over the last year. Whether it's reassuring me that nap/nappy/inappropriate toys (wires and the hoover!) battles are perfectly normal, making me chuckle that it will all be worth it in the end or even today reminding me that I also need to book a smear...I just wanted to say thanks! Keep up the good work! And now I am also off to sniff the my baby's hair and watch him sleep, now that I have finally won that battle before he is a baby no more!x
ReplyDeleteLovely post.......and a reminder I NEED to book my smear test, could give you some Olive Oil though. X
ReplyDeleteI remember this. One of the milestones that needing broke me was the end if the pushchair era. No more requirement for the packhorse that I had spent so long picking with my main focus on comfort at Disneyland using the "can they sleep easily" test. No more place to put all our theme park shit, what do we do now was in my head. It was tough
ReplyDeleteWell this has struck a chord with me too. I'm feeling a bit like this but in a Level Pregnancy completed kind of way. I'm still pregnant but only for another week or so (or maybe this afternoon, who knows). I know I don't want more than 2 babies so this is it. My body hates being pregnant, hyperemesis with my first, prolonged sickness and a falling apart pelvis for my second, but to think that this is it is still making me sad. The though of a random stranger never patting my bump again has turned from something that made me used to want to tear out their throats to something I'll miss. I'm hoping when the hormones subside I'll feel more rationally about it but right now it just feels sad. I'm off to rub this massive stretch marked bump for one of the last times.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your blog, a perfect balance.
This just made me cry (blaming the hormones). As a first time mum to a 6 week old, I can't imagine him not being a baby anymore. I definitely am a baby squisher, and I was planning my second baby less than two weeks after giving birth! I want my little boy to stay little forever. I fear my love of newborns is going to turn me into something of a baby machine!!
ReplyDeleteMy "baby" (no.4 son) is celebrating his 25th birthday today, and my oldest will be 45 this year, three of them have mortgages, two of them have receding hairlines and they all 4 have grown women as partners, yet I still refer to them as my children and I love them unconditionally, old habits die hard. Enjoy the gin and tonic, there will be many more to come.
ReplyDeleteCompletely with you on this; having completed "Baby Level" just over 9 years ago.
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to this. My boy is 13 months (I often wonder, like you, how long we can get away with/are expected to give the age in months) and we only stopped breastfeeding 2 weeks ago. I had a little cry as I felt this signified the completion of "Baby Level", which was odd as I am also not one to go broody over babies. Your post has certainly helped me to realise it's not just me :-)
ReplyDeleteJust a thank you.
ReplyDeleteMy second and last turned one a little while ago it is different when you know you won't have any more. That it's not just the last feed for this baby but the last feed ever etc. I've found welcoming the new stages more challenging this time, although I'm always glad once we are firmly into the new stage whichever one it is
ReplyDeleteI can completely relate to this, my little girl has just turned 2 and there's a bittersweet feeling as she is officially a 'Toddler' and as it's likely she'll be our only child I won't have that squishy baby anymore. But I'm happy I won't have the sleepless nights of a newborn again, the messy high chairs or lugging around a huge bag of things for her 'just in case'!
ReplyDeleteNow to tackle the potty training and moving to a toddler bed over the next year. Every age has it's challenges and I do love this age where her personality is coming through and she makes me laugh every day! I much prefer this age, I used to be a baby squisher but I guess not now! x
I keep referring to my 3 year old as a toddler, despite her being in preschool and full of smart arse remarks.
ReplyDeleteShe might be the only one i'm likely to have, but i'm not ready for Level Toddler to be complete just yet.
Yes I suppose I'd better go for my smear test. I've been putting it off for months. Kind of had enough with being prodded down there.
ReplyDeleteHaha .. my 4 year old son makes me pull his finger as well. He told his cousin the other day "your breath smells like a bag of farts". She didn't find it funny but I nearly crashed the car laughing
ReplyDeleteAw I totally get it. My boys are 5 and 2.5. It's only been the past year that I've stopped thinking if boy 2 as the baby! Realised this summer that I'm a mummy of boys and no baby. Watching them both dance about in underpants was the realisation point. I'm not a fan of babies either, in fact I'm quite scared of them and dress having people ask "do you want a cuddle?" While holding out their precious newborn. Erm no thanks! I'm much happier referring wrestling and building ramps for cars.
ReplyDeleteI have a daughter who's 5 and my boy who will turn 2 in a few weeks... I still call both of them my babies, they always will be. I hate the thought of them not needing me as much but equally love every stage they go through.... Good job I love it as I found out yesterday in expecting again :-O
ReplyDeleteHave only recently come across this blog but has so far helped my sanity massively as its nice to know youre not the only one going through the different delightful stages of crying for no reason, refusing to lie still during each and every nappy change and of course getting into the car seat! I sadly had a taste of things to come over the wkd with my 4 year old nephew telling me to "smell the cheese" and then bopping me in the throat (was aiming for my nose but clearly misjudged!) and also telling me to "kiss my Svengali"!! - his dad finds it highly amusing to pass on his wisdom to his son!! My baby is nearly 10 months and just cut her first tooth and boy did we know about it! Thank you so much for this blog - its almost like knowing what the future holds!!
ReplyDeleteSorry, I sent two posts, brain is not working!
ReplyDeleteI had this feeling when I realised that we weren't eligible for the baby bit 0-2 in m&s anymore :( and those button up sleepsuits and vests were going to be a thing of the past despite the fact I thought I would go crazy buttoning poppers on thier outfits. Now I'm always trying to get them in cute onesies at 5!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this. My little girl is 3.5 and still a toddler to me even though as my husband pointed out she's clearly not and my son is 1 year and 1 week today. As I write this he's rolling around in his cot playing with his toys before settling down to sleep. We're still breastfeeding and as he is likely to be my last I'm not looking forward to that last feed. However like you there are bits I won't miss but he's no longer the helpless, totally dependant on me baby that he was.
ReplyDeleteSitting here in tears brought on by the line about being your baby when they're 40.....I tell mine they will ALWAYS be my babies, but milestones like this (or my 40th which has just passed!) make me sad that life is just too short..... The reality is that the tears are probably brought on due to lack of sleep, from a scared 3 year old in the middle of the night....who decided to get up a second time to poo at maybe 4am- wtf.
ReplyDeleteMy wee girl is 2 and I miss the squishy stage I prefer that stage
ReplyDeleteI've passed many milestones already with my 10 and 8 year old....each one cause for celebration and sadness in equal measures. I miss them being small and have developed a bad habit of lingering a little too long in the baby aisles of supermarkets....so much so that I get looked at like I'm some barren, 50 year old psycho Spinster who's about to kidnap their new born while they're checking out a new product from HIPP Organic lol!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't get broody. With over 7.15 BILLION humans now on earth that last thing anyone needs is for you to have another baby. If you are bored find something else to do.....
ReplyDeleteSounds like you are getting broody...... :)
ReplyDeleteI want my sweetheart stay a little boy 4ever but I also want him to call me MOMY, want to see him play with other child <3 @@!!!
ReplyDeleteMy babies are 16 and 13. Still my babies. Definitely don't sniff them anymore and you haven't lost your shit til you've lost your shit over a teenager!
ReplyDeleteSo touched! Everything will be okay in the end. I believe in it.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you all.