Monday, 16 March 2015

An Open Letter to The Mum with the Red Coat

Dear Mum-with-the-red-coat,

You probably won't remember me. 

I saw you at the park on a rainy afternoon last week. I felt inclined to keep looking over and smiling at you because I sensed you were having a shit day. Actually I more than sensed it ... you looked bloody miserable. Your kids were kicking off and you had a When Did This Become My Life face on. I recognised the face because I wear it interchangeably with my Somebody Make It Stop face.


It was for this reason that I made a passing, 'Nightmare aren't they?!' comment, to which you responded with a very small smile.


You were probably distracted by your toddler (who had taken off both shoes, lobbed them from the climbing frame, and was refusing to come down) and also by your baby, who for the love of god you could not get to stop crying. Of course, there's a chance you might just have chosen not to engage in conversation with me because you heard my son declare, 'farty pants knickers bum-bum head!' in close proximity to all the other children. He does that a lot.

But I had a sneaky suspicion that you were, in fact, more troubled by the behaviour of your own children. Your face was red and you looked kind of sheepish. 


I just wanted to say something. 

I wanted to let you know that you really didn't need to be embarrassed that day. Granted your children were being total sods. I mean they were. But that isn't a reflection on your parenting and it isn't a reflection on you. By all means rage at them, swear under your breath, cry, get the emergency Bear Snacks out as bribery - hell, do whatever you need to. But please don't check over your shoulder as if you are anticipating a judgmental glare.


We are in this together.

I get it. I do. When my eldest goes uncooperatively stiff from the neck down and I resort to dragging his dead weight out of the play-area and across half a football pitch, it is difficult not to clock the stares. And your son shouting, 'I'M NOT COMING DOWN! I HATE YOU!' was really quite loud - so naturally people had a gander.

But you then also felt the need to whisper (at a volume much louder than a true whisper), 'It's not time for your milk yet sweetheart, you've just been fed,' which though directed at your screaming baby appeared very much to be for our benefit (me and the other parent bystanders). As if you were worried we would think she should feed her baby

We didn't think that. 


I'm sure you had already fed her, winded her, and tried to soothe her like anyone would, singing softly about the little fishies on the little dishies and the boats coming in. She just wasn't having any of it.


We have all been there.

Jeez Louise, I'm no parenting expert but I'm pretty confident in my assertion that sometimes kids have shitty days. Granted, I never read this exact piece of advice in any Gina Ford or Jo Frost parenting manual but I imagine it's a footnote somewhere, or it should be ('If you can't get the child to do any of this shit it's likely to be because today is his total knobhead day,' or similar).

You are doing your best at an often impossible job, and that afternoon in question was a bit of a howler. Get angry about it, laugh about it (I'm sorry but his dramatic shout of 'I WANT A NEW MUM!' across the roundabout was hilarious), and then draw a line under it.


Trip to the park - failed. So what? 


File it in the Absolute Bloody Disaster drawer and start again. There's a Tesco Express within sight of that roundabout where you can grab a bottle of grown-up grape juice (and further Bear Snack bribes) on the way home.

Stick your fingers up and say SCREW YOU RAINY WEDNESDAY. Tomorrow  is a new day. Of course the kids might be shitty again tomorrow. But they might not.


Because here's the thing. Somebody's children have to be the worst behaved in the park. They just do. The law of averages suggests sometimes those kids will belong to you.


So, the next time another mum pipes up with, 'Nightmare aren't they?!' please know that she is not slagging off you, or your children. She is simply offering you the space to have a moan. She gets it. Because she too owns a teething baby and a toddler who likes to 'play dead' on the pavement. 


Lovely coat by the way. 


Best wishes,


The Unmumsy Mum

Forever living in hope that other mums will return the understanding nod of sympathy. 




75 comments:

  1. I used to have a red coat.... But my babies are a bit older than this! You are a breath of fresh air in a Pinterest perfect, instragram-able photo montage, selective social media image world. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nicely put, exactly what I wanted to say. haha

      Delete
    2. YES! Too many people gloat about their (fake) happy lives only the unmumsy mum tells it how it is FACT!

      Delete
  2. Love this post. My hubby got me a ' child free day voucher' for mothers day -ironically, best present ever! ( currently on maternity leave with 3 kids under 5). I love your blogs - they sound like me every day and make me laugh a lot. Keep it up. X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Childhood slips like sand through a sieve. Why are so many people desperate to get rid of their kids for the day.

      Delete
    2. Yes maybe it does (slips through the fingers), however 24/7 is hard work and draining, tiring to the fact that you are too tired to even keep those memories locked in your mind. Kids are precious and awesome and an amazing gift. No one could love their kids more than a parent, but just ONE day could make all the difference as it really isn't easy, you wouldn't believe how much more appreciation can happen BOTH ways from a parents RARE day off. The parent feels refreshed, misses their child, and in fact probably chats about their children most of the day! The child realises that life isn't that much fun without mum/dad etc, and is full of hugs, kisses and loving on the return. Sometimes it makes all the difference to be the one who is missed, and shown even more how much you are loved. A RARE day out is allowed, parenting if you are lucky is a partnership, of which a chance to be 'me' once is a while is priceless and appreciated. No one should be made to feel bad about that, because that can make all the difference to the months ahead.

      Delete
    3. Parenthood is the most wonderful and also one of the hardest jobs. It is not a Hallmark card. You are spot on Anonymous.

      Delete
    4. Parenthood 'the years are short but the days are long' - you need a day off to appreciate it!

      Delete
  3. Thank you from me too. I sometimes feel inadequate even with my Mum friends. You are so right, we are all in this and it is hell (a lot of the time!), Another great post x

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love this. My red coat matched my red face last week as I carried my screaming 22 month old out of gum tots. He had spent most of the session refusing to play on anything and lying on the floor in front of the slide so nobody else could play on it. I wish somebody had even smiled sympathetically in my direction but instead they all carefully avoided eye contact as he refused to put his shoes and coat on and screaming coz I was making him leave when he'd been having so much fun! Xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Fab. I am forever saying one thing for the benefit of the general nosey public while hissing something with minor expletives to my not-so-lovely children. then getting the mini eggs out. Because they fix everything xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello mummymarbles do you think you could email me (theunmumsymum@gmail.com) as I'd quite like to use your comment as a quote for my book (if you don't mind that is!) Thanks x

      Delete
  6. Us mum's could all do with being more understanding, all kids are shits at times. I had a similar incident to this in Tesco the other day, a mummy had a toddler who was having the biggest melt down in history and as the toddler got more crazy the poor mummy was getting more embarrassed and stressed, this wasn't helped by the old lady at the next check out tutting and commenting about the "naughty child" saying if he was hers she'd give him what for (such a dear old lady....cow). I happened to join the Que behind said old lady with my angelic looking sleeping baby, the lady looked at my baby and started to compare the tantruming toddler and my baby (if only she'd seen us before getting to tesco, my baby was sleeping due to screaming so much he'd exhausted himself on the way to Tesco) I kindly told the old dear that all children have their moments, the mum must have heard our exchange, there was a smile of acknowledgement between us. It's nice to know someone understands! X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. my eldest daughter attends the local primary school, year 1. all the mums were called in to the dining hall one afternoon to talk about our childrens bad behaviour, half way through her talk about being poor parents for not teaching our children how to behave (she's a spinster btw) my usually placid and laid back 2 year old decided to have a hissy fit, took off her shoes, and with great gusto and much screaming threw them on the floor and stamped on them, my then 1 year old decided to join in the fun, and she copied her older sister, thinking this is a good game. the head teacher, stood up and shouted to all the others this is a good example of bad parenting, and I am not looking forward to the day, these 2 start school. the problem wasn't my kids bad behaviour, but the smug glances from all the other perfect mothers there. I was called in the next day to have a one to one with the head teacher, but decided not to go.

      Delete
    2. What a horrible person!! I would take them out of there (I'd is at all possible) as she sounds like SHE can't can't deal with children. As a teacher, she should be able to deal with this, and not instantly blame the children and parents for her inadequacies. Your children are NOT bad, they are children. It's up to all of us, as adults, to teach kids things. As a teacher, a headmistress in fact, she should know this. Give your kids a hug from me, they are individuals, please keep them safe, but let them be who they are. They are going to be interesting people when they are older xx

      Delete
    3. Wow, I'd have told that headteacher to fuck off!

      Delete
    4. Wow! That headteacher just sounds like a bitch!

      Delete
    5. If all the children are misbehaving clearly their teaching skills need to be looked at. If lessons are engaging and well delivered the children would not be misbehaving. This is only a reflection on their wank teaching. Nothing to do with your parenting abilities and that head needs reporting. Bitch. X

      Delete
    6. What an appalling cow, to point fingers at any parent! What does that teach children? To be holier than thou? You can get back at her by teaching your children to be tolerant and understanding of people who have little enough in their lives to make them truly worthwhile. Be kind to the bitch. She'll HATE it. ;)

      Delete
    7. What a complete bitch and totally unprofessional! I would have hit the roof, I'd definitely lodge a complaint against her with the board of governors and if also contact the council. You deserve a full apology, she should be ashamed of herself.

      Delete
    8. As a teacher, shocking shocking shocking. Get your kids out of there 😔

      Delete
    9. You are fab xx

      Delete
    10. To put it mildly, I think she's most definitely in the wrong job

      Delete
    11. I'm a teacher and that is completely disgraceful! Go to the governors and if that doesn't work I would go to the local newspapers! I'm sure that OFsted would be delighted to hear how she treats parents within her school community! She's too old to change - get your kids out!

      Delete
    12. Wow, that is completely unprofessional. I was also a teacher before I realised there was more to life and I totally disagreed with so many things, and THAT should definitely be taken further! I would be both reporting to the governors, the local council and if necessary take it further if they don't act appropriately,

      Delete
    13. I don't think anyone should be blamed here parents or the teachers (as having been a teacher it is not always possible to engage EVERY child in everything you teach as everyone is different something could be engaging for me and not the next person so you can't blame the teachers for not being engaging enough as teachers put in a lot of work and have many standards to maintain I'm sure there are 'bad' teachers out there but its not that simple) as many have said children are children at the end of the day with the best of parents and teachers they still have their moments.

      Delete
  7. Favourite quote from this piece - "Somebody's children have to be the worst behaved in the park. They just do. The law of averages suggests sometimes those kids will belong to you."

    ReplyDelete
  8. I bloody love you. That is all.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Took the kids to Center Parcs, eldest son (about four at the time) came down the slide, head first into the sandpit, mouthful of sand, immediately threw up in the sand pit. Ashamed to say I kicked sand over it and ran away. We’ve all been there.
    All I can say is that if you stick with it, never stop talking to your children and simply do the best you can 9 times out of 10 it will work out in the end. 6,000 cock-ups and crises later the elder two are at uni and have turned into pleasant, kind, thoughtful young adults. Tell that to the Mum in the Red Coat – or the Dad in the Red Jacket – next time you see her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spat my coffee everywhere reading about your sandpit incident, hilarious. Thanks for the laugh on a crappy morning.

      Delete
    2. Brilliant! My Dad did something similar with me when I was sick over the comics in WHSmiths 35 years ago 😝

      Delete
    3. Pahahahahaha! excellent!

      Delete
    4. Actually had a proper lol at that! Made my might!! Hehe

      Delete
  10. Another thank you from me. I think we all need to hear this sometimes, not just the mum in the red coat. Though in my head I know better, I STILL find myself saying things to my toddler that are really for the benefit of other people. Who, as you quite rightly point out, really don't care. Or who are at least just happy it's not their toddler kicking off, for once.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You brighten my day and make me smile when I really don't feel like it. Please write a book! (If you ever get time)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anybody who thinks their parenting and kids are perfect are deluding themselves. I have a very well behaved but highly energetic 3 1/2 year old. I recently took him to the doctors as he had a horendous virus and temp (not that his behaviour suggested so at the time), and usually at the Doctors he is brilliantly behaved. Not this day. He ran about in the Doctor's room, jumped on every bit of furniture, rolled around on the floor, kicked the Doctor's chair (whilst she was in it), and when I grabbed him to calm him down he spun around until his slid into a pile on the floor and then looked up and laughed in my face. Never having witnessed this behaviour before I could have climbed up my own backside, and my immediate thought was that this Doctor (who I'd never seen before) probably thought I was an unfit mother. I apologised sheepishly (still mentally climbing up my own backside) but her response was a small smile and 'I have a little one too'. So as unmumsy mum says, we're all in it together. Okay, so I still walked up fuming, putting my son in the car wondering where my lovely child had gone. He was fine the next day. I think we should always remember as parents that THAT naughty child could have easily been our own child.

    ReplyDelete
  13. love it! keep it up, i'm listening and agreeing with everything!! it's a relief that I'm not the only one who thinks the same as you....it's bloody hard being a mummy...it's exhausting, frustrating and sometime downright annoying! x

    ReplyDelete
  14. Really love this. I try and do the sympathetic look at people too. Nobody told you that you could or would have days like that. I love my children to bits but could do with a few sympathetic looks myself. Well said xx

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hard to be funny and poignant a the same time but you nailed it with this post. It's one of the great taboos isnt it - that sometimes you might not actually like your children but no one talks about it before you become a parent. We're just approaching the point where our one year old starts being 'assertive' so I will likely be ranting at some point on my blog soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Adrian, do you think you could email me (theunmumsymum@gmail.com) as I might like to use part of your above comment in my book (if you don't mind of course!!) Thanks.

      Delete
  16. Mummy's and daddy's don't judge other mummy's and daddy's.... We've ALL been there !!!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. You are so spot on. I am so glad I found your blog. You have saved my life. Literally. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  18. THANK YOU, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
    I also wear 'when did this become my life' faces quite a bit lately. Your post are so refreshing and relatable. thanks again x

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'd like to let you know, even as big kids (I have a12 yo girl and 7 yo boy) i still find myself doing this for my son. It's almost like an apology to others. I work in a cafe, we have had our share of upset kiddies and I do try to give the parents the sympathetic look. Sometimes I do even let them know, kids are like that. Sometimes for little ones, a new face (wearing a hat and hair net) is enough to make them stop for a few minutes. I have been known to walk and rock the odd baby! Just to give mum enough time to get the bottle/dummy. We have to help, how will our kids learn to be caring people if we don't show them? I hope, if anyone comes in my cafe, you know I won't judge. I'll even babysit :-)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Once in Asda my bored daughter (who had been play up all the way round the store) decided that just as we were being served at the till, it would be a good time to run away and back in to the store. Leaving hubby at the till, I set off to retreive my child. Only for her to refuse to come with me and start screaming blue murder. At the end of my tether, I picked her up and stuck her under my arm. Arms and legs flying, still screaming I returned to the till. Plonked her down and told her DO NOT MOVE! in my best impression of my Mum. Out of the corner of my eye I could see a woman at the next till giving me disapproving looks. As I stood up she faced me, made eye contact and opened her mouth to tell me what she thought. One look at my face which said BRING IT ON LADY! and she thought better of it. Why do people think it it acceptable to publicly criticise your parenting skills, when it is perfectly clear that you are doing the best you can and you're not having a good child day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my days I know this feeling! I live in a small town and there are always people on hand to give a judgmental shake of their head or to voice their insignificant opinions ... And I do exactly as you do! One of my "i dare you!" Crazy lady stares that I inherited from my mother normally do the trick. And if it doesn't then they normally get the sharp end of my tongue. It is truly beyond me why these people think they have the right to judge and criticise us as parents and I'm so glad I'm not the only mother who nips back. Was beginning to think I was some sort of anomaly aggressive mumma bear. Lol xx

      Delete
  21. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Such a wonderful post which I found via Mark Richards. My son was 13 years old yesterday. He's an only child and we live in Germany. I have soooo been through all of the above but I wouldn't have it any other way! My son has peed in the fountain, kept a dead snail in his coat pocket and then proudly put the squashed remains on his teachers desk, ran away from me in a furniture shop in Berlin while we were "playing". By the time I found him, I was so stressed that I hugged and kissed him then wagged my finger! You should have seen the looks that I got. My boy has screamed at me at the supermarket because I wouldn't buy him biscuits (I ignored it), oh, and he has also screamed that I'm not his mother in a crowded inter-city train. Thankfully, there aren't that many people of colour where I live, so there was a bit of tut-tutting, but everyone ignored THAT quip!
    Phew!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Just found your blog and love it. I have a slight amendment to your comment: 'The law of averages suggests sometimes those kids will belong to you'.... If the playground in question has my boys in it, the rest of you are safe, I can guarantee that I will have the loudest and worst behaved kids all the time. I'm now very good at wide, disarming grins at those who tut at my boys and me. I like to view myself as providing a public service, daily making all other parents in the town/school/church feel better about their parenting ability. :0)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Love this, first time reader, but great post. brought me to tears, but maybe that is the lack of sleep and ground hog day with a toddler that thinks wake up time is 2am and a teething baby. Also single parent as partner is the navy. Refreshing read keep them coming.

    ReplyDelete
  25. What a great blog. I wish parents around me could be as honest about there children and parenting. They must think u hate my children when I openly say they're annoying me when they are! Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You should see peoples faces when they ask if my daughter was very sick before she was diagnosed a diabetic & I respond "No, she wouldn't go to sleep for me she kept asking for more stories & more to drink, so I told her she'd have to do a bloodsugar test (I'm type1) if she kept asking for a drink, turns out her bloods were dangerously high", they're appauled that I admitted she annoyed me so much I made her test her blood, so it's a good thing that my kids annoy me or she might be dead

      Delete
  26. Little people are just like adults. We all have tempers. All have bad days and all have to compromise to get through the day sane... pick your battles. If you argue over everything you will never get out alive!

    ReplyDelete
  27. More simple truth and laughter and less embarrassment, shame and judgement in this world would remove a lot of suffering!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Love this! Bloody awesome! Was out with a friend the other day and we were saying how sometimes kids are just total arseholes. They just are. And no matter what you do, what parenting technique you desperately employ, they will just carry on being arseholes because it's their day for it. All you can do is crawl towards bedtime and the promise of alcohol on those days!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Awesome post! I remember,beer being that mum in the red coat in a plane with my daughter repeatedly kicking the seat in front of her. Short of cutting of her legs there wasn't much I could do as I had issued all threats which fell on deaf ears

    ReplyDelete
  30. It's always a slight relief to not be that mum though. That yours isn't the one kicking off so that screams can be heard at the otter end of Tesco, or imp,y that you're kidnapping them as you're trying to drag them away from something in the park, and that feels awful but also true. The worst thing though, above all, is being judged by the non parents. Those whose lives haven't been torn to pieces by a small devil child and don't understand that a tantrum can't always be avoided and that the best way to handle it isn't to simply scream back at them, batter them to death, or discipline them in some other way. A few minutes of them kicking, screaming and being totally ignored is sometimes just the right way to handle it - only you get the "dear God, sort out your could" withering looks because you're so awful at this. And Yep, it's made worse when that's your best friend!

    ReplyDelete
  31. My generally very placid baby decided to cry on the Kings Cross to Hull train last year when she was seven months old. The only tickets we could buy turned out to be in the quiet coach coz you can't indicate at time of booking online that you're travelling with a child under 5. They're only interested in over 5s that are to be paid for. One woman tutted and flounced off to complain and soon enough I was basically bullied into leaving the carriage by the staff after they'd had several complaints. We spent a lot of the journey on the floor outside the toilets as the train was full due to a school trip until a really sweet gentleman noticed and gave up his little pull down seat for me. I left my partner back in the seats we'd paid almost £100 for. He fell asleep and snored loudly for some time, much to the amusement of the one sympathetic member of staff who kept checking on me. We will never travel with First Hull Trains again!

    ReplyDelete
  32. I do love your blog, as a mum of two boys as well it is so refreshing to read a realistic account of parenting. A while ago I was walking to work and there was a man attempting to get an uncooperative toddler to nursery but she decided to fling herself on the floor in front of me, he apologised profusely to which I just replied "please don't worry, i have a 3 yr old at home". No more needed to be said, he just gave such a relieved smile at this shared understanding & i could see a new strength in him as he continued his battle. Sometimes it just needs a few words to make all the difference

    ReplyDelete
  33. My friend has just sent me a link to your blog, mainly as today I spent 20 minutes ranting about how my little girl kicked off just one of her brand new clarks shoes that cost me 20 quid (just the bloody one mind!!!) only the day before, people at work that I used to socialise with gave me that look.. You know, the one that shows your encounter of the day before isn't half as funny exciting or adventurous as theirs. Anyway, I read this and it made me cry a little, not because of the massive glass of red wine I had earlier but because I spend so much time trying to be a perfect mum that I forget there are thousands of us all in iggle piggle's shitty little sailing boat. Protests from my tiddlers dad to get her into the car because people are "looking"... Thank you, you've reminded me they aren't looking in disgust at my rubbish parenting skills. Well on that note I need to go, I've been hiding in the loo and my angel has found me and has run off with the last 4 squares of loo roll which she is trying to eat. Thank you for making me cry and smile at the same time.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Such a great post - we have all too many of these 'fail' days and this is defintely one to bookmark for when it happens! It's great to hear a blogger tell it like it is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks lovely, I've had a FAIL day today!! Xx

      Delete
  35. This post has made me well up because you get it and we need it, the reality of how bloody hard it can be some days, thank you x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is bloody hard - to be honest today has been a particularly testing one!!! Thank you for reading, appreciate it x

      Delete
  36. That comment probably made all the difference to her awful day. The last time someone made that kind of comment when I was having a nightmare it almost made me cry on the spot, I was so grateful for the solidarity. We should all do this more often!

    ReplyDelete
  37. One teething child who screams and screams all the way around the weekly asda shop today. After a few minutes I just pushed the trolley away n asked the wife if we could ask at customer service desk if we can return him??? Your blogs are fab. We both love reading them and seeing someone tell it like it is instead of Facebook users blah blah blahing like everything is perfect. I've even asked to sleep in the shed before just for a peaceful sleep.. denied obviously, if I'm not there then who wilt he wife warm her feet on?

    ReplyDelete
  38. I'm a mum of 2 older boys who has never felt like the perfect mum amongst a raft of Mumsy mums in our village.
    I used to be ashamed of the tantrums my youngest used to have on the way home from school run and the way my eldest didn't mind blatantly pointing out the obvious stand-out things about complete strangers. (Excessively sweaty man/big nose/bald head.....you know the type)
    I learned to get used to them and ignore the disapproving looks and actually realised that other people's children were also shits! (Even if their parents had not noticed)
    This made me feel a lot less like a rubbish parent and sympathised with those mums at the park who's child had decided to slap every little one in sight and run away!
    I have been that mum in a red coat (I actually do have one) and I've been there when that mum wanted the ground to open up!
    I love the way you make it normal, and know just how she feels. So reassuring! Thank you. Xx

    ReplyDelete
  39. So wish you'd been around when mine were tiny... I've been lady in red coat so many times! We need to support one another, let's support each other... Thank you x x x

    ReplyDelete
  40. My extremely wilful now 6 year old then 16mths and I used to go to a mini gymnastics session weekly while her baby brother slept in the car seat-one exhausting morning baby was awful (clearly I was a bad mommy I see this now-not) screaming while toddler was engaging with the balance beam alone-absolutely fine but all the other mums were watching and commenting to each other re her doing things alone- the organiser stepped in to 'help' toddler who threw major hissy fit-baby and I went to sort baby barfed everywhere we were offered a refund and told to find another hobby more suitable to my angel!!! I was so upset for so long I would have loved just one mum to give that look!!
    4 years on said angel still a cow a lot of the time but trains 4 hrs a week to be a competitive gymnast and STILL takesno help on the beam....

    ReplyDelete
  41. This makes me smile because I too had the child from hell. In fact my favourite saying to him was " I will always love you but at the moment I don't like you very much" And don't believe anyone who tells you it gets better because they lie. It does not get better the challenges just change.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Just found this blog and it perfectly sums up actual parenthood lol iv got a 33 month old who surprises, infuriates and challenges me daily. Definitely been the mum in the park with him throwing a tantrum because I wouldn't carry him (he's bloody heavy) and my don't give a fuck attitude to the unintended audience generally works well, I just calmly explain why I'm not pandering to his every whim and get on with what I'm doing lol works pretty well but it really annoys the hell out of me when I have other people (total strangers) telling him to behave with stupid phrases like "big boys don't cry " and "you'll go on the naughty list and won't get any presents from Santa" I might not be your idea of a good parent but don't parent my child for me! I can definitely understand the need to reassure and support. Will definitely spread the word to my mummy friends.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I was directed to this post by: Best Dad I can Be, who has referenced it in his blog: Peeing in the Ball Pool. I love it and have shared it, because I think it will make so many other mums feel a whole lot better today. Alison

    ReplyDelete