Thursday, 16 July 2015

An alternative Peppa Pig script

Narrator: It's a lovely sunny day and Peppa and George are playing in the garden.

Peppa: I'm better at jumping up and down in muddy puddles than you are. You're rubbish.

[GEORGE KICKS PEPPA, PEPPA RUNS INSIDE CRYING]

Narrator: Mummy Pig is in the kitchen, wondering what happened to her life.

Mummy Pig: What's the matter, Peppa?
Peppa: George kicked me!
Mummy Pig: Jesus wept can you two not play nicely for five minutes?
George: NO
Peppa: NO
Mummy Pig: I'm calling Daddy Pig.

[MUMMY PIG DIALS DADDY PIG'S WORK. DADDY PIG ANSWERS]

Daddy Pig: Hello, Daddy Pig speaking
Mummy Pig: Why haven't you replied to my texts Daddy Pig? I've had just about enough of this day which has been going on FOREVER. What time will you be home?
Daddy Pig: Ahhh, I forgot to tell you... I'm working late.
Mummy Pig: Are you shitting me, Daddy Pig?
Daddy Pig: [laughs] Ho ho ho. I'm afraid not Mummy Pig. Do you need me to pick anything up on the way home?
Mummy Pig: Wine.

[MUMMY PIG HEADS BACK INTO THE GARDEN]

Mummy Pig: Peppa, George - what do you want to do until Daddy Pig comes home?
Peppa: Let's sing the Bing Bong song!
George: Bong bing boo, bing bong bing, bing bong bingly bongly boo (x2)

[MUMMY PIG POKES HER EYES OUT]

The end.

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39 comments:

  1. Unknown16 July 2015 at 13:29

    Haha, genius! Love it. x

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  2. JMC316 July 2015 at 13:32

    Haha this is so funny yet typical of a normal day in my household!!! I'm back to work in a few weeks and actually looking forward to having a break from kids fighting and cbeebies!!!! Lol

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  3. Unknown16 July 2015 at 13:46

    Brilliant! Funniest thing I've read in ages - but only cos it's all so true!

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  4. Unknown16 July 2015 at 13:50

    Jesus christ, that is my life! It's like you're in my head!

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  5. Anonymous16 July 2015 at 13:51

    That's made my day! Brilliant

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  6. Unknown16 July 2015 at 13:57

    Thank you for writing this, it really made me smile. So damn true

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  7. mygorgeousboys16 July 2015 at 13:58

    fab! There are lots of mummy pigs in the world 😊🍷

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  8. Anonymous16 July 2015 at 14:09

    Reading this whilst watching said annoying pig (my 2 year old has decided today will be the day we scrap daytime naps aka mummys only solace) has made my day much more tolerable. Thank you! Any advice on how ti reinstate said daytime solace much appreciated. I'm not entirely against dosing her up on piriton!

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  9. Anonymous16 July 2015 at 15:15

    Reading this on all fours, balancing over baby with my boob in his gob as that's the only way he will feed today without screaming... Made me LOL so hard it popped out and the screaming started again. Toddler (currently being babysat by c beebies) turns and says "he's just a bit narky, isn't he?". Might have to intoxicate the breast milk tonight...

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  10. Unknown16 July 2015 at 15:23

    Hilarious and so true! Wine anyone?

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  11. Colette16 July 2015 at 18:11

    Brilliant! I WISH they'd do an episode like this!

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  12. Anonymous16 July 2015 at 18:23

    Just brilliant. Made me laugh so much

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  13. Anonymous16 July 2015 at 21:02

    Oh no I've just realised I've read all your post in the last day I just found you yesterday and I already don't know how I lived without you love your blog its my life except the I've only one girl that feels like 20 at times keep up the good work love your blog

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  14. Shereen16 July 2015 at 21:18

    When I read this I actually heard the poxy pigs voices...
    Still, best peppa pig script ever!

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous16 July 2015 at 22:06

      I did too! Shows how much we put up with it for our munchkins. Woke my my 'Daddy Pig' so he could read this blog post too...

      Delete
    2. Anonymous18 July 2015 at 02:08

      Needs "everyone loves the Bing bong song" at the end

      Delete
  15. Anonymous16 July 2015 at 22:21

    I'm crying with laughter into my wine! Brilliant!

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  16. Blossom & Badger16 July 2015 at 22:29

    Loved this, thanks. Scarily I am now humming "dur dur dee dur dur, dur dur dur dur de duh duh"....or at least thats how I hum the theme tune after a glass of wine!

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  17. mummyofboygirltwins16 July 2015 at 22:43

    I think I've seen every Peppa episode going - but this would be the best one yet! Hilarious :) And my life every day (almost)!! xx

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  18. Anonymous17 July 2015 at 06:52

    So funny definitely relate to this episode

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  19. Anonymous17 July 2015 at 12:37

    Brilliant! I am a bit of an expert at these things.

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  20. EmMoreton17 July 2015 at 19:21

    Creasing up reading this, it's so true! Esp daddy pig not picking up texts

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  21. Anonymous17 July 2015 at 22:35

    This is hilarious, snort snort... :D

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  22. Whineorwine19 July 2015 at 14:49

    GENIUS!!!!! Working late and not picking up texts!! WINE!! HAHA HA

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  23. Whineorwine19 July 2015 at 14:50

    GENIUS!!!

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  24. Anonymous21 July 2015 at 21:31

    Having had the longest day of my life (day 1 of 7 WEEKS of summer holidays) with my 3 little ones, I came across your post. I was literally snorting with laughter (verging on slightly hysterical tears...). You made my day. Thank you!

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  25. Anonymous24 July 2015 at 08:23

    100% accurate!

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  26. Mike Raven27 July 2015 at 06:20

    So funny! :)

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  27. Jane Jackson27 July 2015 at 09:28

    Brilliant, much better than the original! Keep going you do get there in the end, until you are a grandparent and it all seems to come around again!

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  28. Anonymous28 July 2015 at 08:00

    I love this, my son is obsessed with Peppa Pig.

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  29. Josie Rose1 August 2015 at 20:57

    So accurate. Love it x

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  30. Alessio23 August 2015 at 23:00

    Started laughing while reading this post, then again the next day while thinking about it, then again 4 days later.. this is the gift that keeps on giving :)

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  31. Life With Three, By Me27 August 2015 at 09:11

    I love this! Definitely read it in their voices..

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  32. Blogs Tiền Ảo31 August 2015 at 13:49


    Peppa pig and friend

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  33. Unknown19 November 2015 at 20:16

    😂😂😂😂😂😂 I love this!!! I actually really laughed out loud!!!!!

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  34. Unknown3 December 2015 at 18:54

    Peppa pig toys funny for kids
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jG8aoLF5rv0

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  35. Mixed.Up.Mama7 January 2016 at 14:58

    Hilarious! With my middle child literally obsessed with Peppa Pig, this takes the cake! lol

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  36. Peppa Pig Live6 May 2016 at 17:36

    Well everybody seems to love Peppa Pig
    We just went on a live show and it was fantastic

    ReplyDelete

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